Ten tiny steps for creeping out of Covid malaise.
July 30th felt a bit like February 2nd, only this time I was the groundhog coming out of my burrow and blinking at the light.
After 21 days of fighting Covid, Jim and I had finally turned a corner. Our brains began to fire back up. Some things actually seemed like good ideas. The couch occasionally relaxed its magnetic pull.
Looking back, it was not the active disease that was the surprise. The feel of battling a pulmonary virus felt familiar, though for Jim in particular, the intensity of the onslaught was exceptional. We were ready for weakness and limitations in our bodies; we had done our research and were stocked with information and every immune booster and medical remedy known to man.
But the tiny word “malaise” did not adequately prepare us for the mental cloud that made the smallest effort feel like an impossibility. And if that effort encountered an obstacle, dark despair or fury kicked our feet out from under us again and again. I confess to dissolving into tears at some point Every Single Day.
Is this the psychological depression of isolation that we hear so much about, or is it actually induced by the Covid-19 virus itself? I’d like to know, but I doubt I will. What I DO know is that I was a stranger to my own self for a while there, and it’s nice to feel Kathy returning.
So how do you be kind to the stranger you’ve become during Covid? Here are Ten Tiny Steps that may help you inch out of Covid Gloom:
1. Lower the bar.
I know you want to make lemonade out of lemons, and blessings on you if you can find joy in a good book or paint some art. But if thoughts won’t come or ideas just make you mad, remember that your body is focusing on healing, and you can cooperate with it by just pulling the covers up over your head.
2. Move a little.
If you move a lot, you may not want to get out of bed tomorrow. And there was that one day when I nearly passed out in the driveway. But a LITTLE walk or some yoga can pump oxygen to your brain, get some endorphins flowing, and also make you pretty impressed with yourself.
3. Smile a tiny bit.
Did you know that even the act of gripping a pencil between your teeth in a fake grin has been proven to fool your brain into feeling more hopeful? A funny movie or watching idiots hurt themselves on YouTube may give you a little burst of laughter, and joy has a way of multiplying. (Oops. Maybe my cynicism isn’t entirely healed after all.)
4. Admit what’s hard.
Look; life is kind of sucky right now. Your instinct may be to gloss that over, think positive and look on the bright side. But when we ignore the truth of grief, loss, or injustice, it goes underground and emerges as despair or anger. Yes, there were days when Everyone seemed like an idiot to me. If you’re feeling that too, maybe it’s time to acknowledge your losses, even if it feels ugly. Keep your confessions private in a journal or lament your losses in prayer. Psalm 62 reminds us so beautifully, “In God alone my soul finds rest. Pour out your hearts before him! God is our refuge.” That’s an invitation I love.
5. Speak truth.
The flip side of acknowledging what is bleak is affirming what is good. Fifteen years ago I wrote out some beliefs and the scriptures that assure me they are true. Through the years when my heart was tempted to believe a lie, these affirmations realigned my heart with the truth again and again. If you don’t have the energy to seek God in a new way, let the old truth heal your heart once more. (I’ll post my Affirmations separately here on Facebook, and later on my website.)
6. Find beauty.
Beauty can be a game-changer, the break from mental negativity that changes the trajectory of our mood. You may not have the energy to tidy up or make something pretty right now, but you can find something lovely and savor it. For me it was the ridiculous joy of lying out on the deck with my dogs, eyes closed to the weeds around me. The warmth of the sun on my back, the warm breeze, that red glow through closed eyelids fed my spirit long after I came indoors. Where do you find beauty?
7. Do one thing.
Just one. On some days during Covid, one step of progress felt like all I could muster--one chore, one phone call. Some days that one grew into two or three. Sometimes it involved tears. I gave myself lots of points for every single step forward and wrote out my “wins” at the end of the day. It’s nice to fall asleep remembering wins.
8. Borrow someone else’s thoughts.
I couldn’t muster up great thoughts, but I could appreciate wisdom when I heard it. Fortunately, I already had a collection of favorite podcasts to feed on even when my eyes were closed. I’ll link a couple of places to start in the comments, like Emily P. Freeman’s podcast, ‘How to Pray When You’re Sad,’ and an excerpt from John Moe’s book, ‘The Hilarious World of Depression’.
9. Take mini vacays.
If you have to work or get things done, schedule some mini vacations into your day. Set a timer and take a break from self-condemnation; your body is longing for a chance to heal. Naps are great, as is meditation (I love the Calm app), or music, maybe a movie. Twice I just drove through the countryside. Once Jim and I napped in the truck at the beach and breathed in those negative ions that ironically make you feel positive. Mini vacays are your job right now, so take them seriously.
10. Kiss safely.
Just when you need physical reassurance the most, Covid makes you distance. When I knocked on my daughter’s door, I’d call out, “Unclean! Unclean!” like a leper. You know oxytocin, that natural “hugging hormone”? Most of us are missing it right now. But oh, the joy of dogs during Covid! I know, someone reading this will think I was cruel to endanger them. They handled it just fine, and happily bestowed kisses, uttering long dog-purrs when I stroked their warm fur. They were delighted with my laziness, and I was soothed by their touch. If you have some un-dogged friends isolating for Covid, please text them every day! They won’t always answer, but they need your love right now.
It’s so nice to be inching our way back toward normalcy. Soon we will have the antibody and permission to move freely about the universe! But if you should fall into the rabbit hole of Covid malaise, please know we’re here for you, and happy to talk, pray, or send chocolate-covered hydroxychloroquine.
(It’s a sick joke, people!)
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